suddenly you realised that you are all alone My name is mei yin and some call me estrella. Trying to figure where to go from where I am. Because in life, only the best gets notice.

my heart has been captured by your funny little smile 키 김기범♥

i don't know for sure where this is going Vivian Juan Felicia Christie Dom Hanwee Janice Weiying Lijia Aisyah Orlando

don't promise me forever just love me day by day Template: Elle (blog) Inspiration: balloon.s Fonts: toomunch Icons: defying affection Lyrics: Funny Little World Others: colour codes

the things that you can never forget histories: August 2009 histories: September 2009 histories: October 2009 histories: November 2009 histories: December 2009 histories: January 2010 histories: February 2010 histories: March 2010 histories: April 2010 histories: May 2010 histories: June 2010 histories: July 2010 histories: August 2010 histories: September 2010 histories: October 2010 histories: November 2010 histories: December 2010 histories: February 2011 histories: March 2011 histories: April 2011 histories: May 2011 histories: June 2011 histories: July 2011 histories: August 2011 histories: September 2011 histories: October 2011 histories: November 2011 histories: December 2011 histories: January 2012 histories: February 2012 histories: March 2012 histories: August 2012 histories: September 2012 histories: October 2012 histories: November 2012 histories: February 2013

"I don't want this and I don't want that. Suddenly, I realized that I'm left with nothing."

Constantly living according to other people's standards, never my own. It's such an old topic but yes I still don't know what I want. Sometimes I don't even know what I like. What am I? This is ridiculous how can you not know what you like?! Oh it's possible, think I like this cause everybody else likes it so I want it too. Not because I genuinely like it but because everyone else wants it, it suddenly become really desirable I want to have it all to myself. Ahhhh so so so sick of this feeling. Ohhh absolutely hate the response, "I don't know." Oh wow, "I don't know" mode on.

Don't even know what the hell I'm talking about right now ahhhhhhh YOU ARE SUCH A MESS MEIYINNNNNNNN
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 5:43 PM


so sad you probably can die of overwhelming of sadness.
absolutely hate the kind of feeling when i feel like the worst person on earth.
absolutely hate this stupid dumb fuck feeling like i probably shouldn't even exist.
haha omg i don't even know how to put this into proper words and sentence.
i just feel like shit like shit like shit.
i virtually stab myself continuously because i don't have the guts to do it in reality.
my head and my heart hurt so badly nowadays so bad so painful i wanna die but i can't.
it's probably stupid to tell anyone how much my head and my heart hurts, its like they are joined together cause the pain come right after another its as ridiculous as it sounds but its scaring the shit out of me maybe i'm probably slowly fading away wtf
what am i gonna do if i just give in one day haha i laugh to myself now i don't know who i can depend on i don't even have that one person to call and let me cry my eyes out this is stupid you are stupid hahahhaa
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 12:46 AM


wanna feel good about yourself, you wanna you wanna.
you know what you have to do, you know you know.
but you are not doing anything about it.

quit beating yourself down. oh but just saying, there's nothing good in me.
oh and i love my dad, he never fails to make me feel bad about myself woohoo
its okay, just bring me more shit, i can handle it reallyyyy

wondering to myself, why do people have to go through so much to be close to one another and all they have to do is to not see or talk to each other for a few weeks to become strangers.
amazing isn't it.
life, just is.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 7:02 PM


Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met


Not feeling like myself. Not very happy, not very sad, so-so. Just not knowing how to make myself feel better, no drive no drive urghhhhh don't like how I'm feeling right now sooooo defeated.

Those things that I used to want it so much, I don't want it anymore. I just want to feel better, I want to but I don't know how. Need to laugh HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA
keep going bitch.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 1:52 AM


You like someone when that someone is nice to you.
The next thing you know, 
you want that someone to leave you alone because that someone is not who you think he is.
And then you change your mind about that someone over and over again, every other day.

I know there are many things in this world that are beyond my control.
Just want to sleep whenever something upsetting happens.

I wonder how does it feels like to have someone whom you can count everything on.


You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 9:11 PM


maybe, i don't want to see you again.
maybe, i will regret tomorrow.

maybe, you are hurting too.
then maybe, i wasn't important enough for you to want to keep whatever that's left.
and maybe, everything didn't really matter.

i feel sad really
i do.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 1:04 AM


"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?”


You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 11:40 AM


When you're upset, you sleep.
When you're pissed, you sleep.
When you feel like crying, you sleep.
When you don't know what to do, you sleep.
When everything is not going the way you want it to be, you sleep.

I guess it's better this way. No sudden outburst, no explanation needed. No need to make anyone understand, cos no one else can ever feel what you felt.

You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 1:21 PM


"And even though we know we shouldn’t love certain people, we do and always will. Because there are just some people in this world who will get us for reasons we can’t explain, even when they shouldn’t."
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 11:50 PM


And so we all grow up.

I wish I can read minds. I can't believe I haven't given up on trying to figure out what everybody actually thinks about me. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO SELF-CONSCIOUS MEIYINQUEK?!

What a fool. I always drive myself crazy I don't know why the hell I'm putting myself through all this. I know I need to stop beating and finding faults on myself but I can't help it. Even if it's clearly other people's fault, I still apologize as though I owe them all an apology.

As if ice-cream can cure everything.

Yes, when will I ever learn the art of 'I-DONT-GIVE-A-DAMN'?

So screwed for ECONS and INTERNATIONAL MARKETING.
SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 11:55 PM


Cos I don't have the courage to make you talk.

Note to self: Seriously need to start studying already.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 11:35 PM


There are so many explanations to things.

I am so tired every single day. I can't fall asleep at night and I can't sleep in in the morning. Not that I don't want to, I just can't. Stopped questioning myself WHY WHY WHY.

I got better on days when I don't see you. I got used to not talking to you that often. I got used to not being important. I got used to spending time alone with myself. I got very used to all of it. So if one day you met someone new, I will cry and be upset but I guess I will get used to it too.

Long break coming in less than a month's time. So looking forward to it.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 10:57 AM


Maybe it's because you let that person stay too long in your heart, that's why you feel the pain.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 10:17 PM


Not in the best of mood today.

Somehow I find it hard to communicate with people nowadays. I wonder why. It's just so tiring to figure out what everybody wants. I need to be so cautious when I speak. So I tell myself, "Just do whatever you want, just do whatever makes you happy."

And I know my temper is getting out of hand. I have had problem controlling it myself. And so I keep to myself more.

And so I quit trying to figure you out.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 12:44 PM


The terrible moment when anger turns to tears.

Fuck you. Fuck the world. Fuck whoever. Bad things always comes together. I hate it when I cannot come up with better ways to make myself feel better I started crying and crying. Just like now. I feel like screaming fuck you all. Fuck you. And to think you have a shitty day outside, you want to go home to find some peace and you get even more shit at home. At times like these, i start to think who do i have in this world that i can depend on?

I know people care in different ways. I know, i know, i know. I just want to kick out a fuss, cry and make some noise and be childish and when I cry and cry and absolutely hate myself, someone will come and give me a hug and tell me that they love me and everything will be okay. Nobody really absolutely gives a shit about me.
You can never get enough of this stuff ♥ 11:26 PM